After 35 years of caring for terminally ill patients staring death in the face, Sydney nurse Cindy Grundy has learned a lesson or two about life.
The most important thing for her is to “pay attention to her time” and treat her like the invaluable asset that she is, says the palliative care nurse who works in a public hospital in the city center.
“For me, time means everything. It is so precious,” said the 59-year-old.
“You have to learn to set priorities and let go of things that aren’t important. My job makes me appreciate the little things in life, but time is a big thing for me.”
Throughout her career, Ms. Grundy has worked in palliative care settings in hospital wards, nursing homes, prisons and at the bedsides of people who have chosen to spend their final moments at home.
The focus of her work and that of other palliative care nurses is to ensure that patients can make the most of the last hours, days, weeks or months of their lives – whether by managing their symptoms or fulfilling their final wishes.
“They are dying but they are still alive and this is a chance for laughter, love and new experiences,” says Sydney-based nurse Steven Turk.
He remembers a patient, an elderly man, who wanted to interact with animals one last time before he died.
The staff had originally organised a visit for him to Taronga Zoo in northern Sydney. However, due to his deteriorating condition, the trip could not take place.
There were alternative plans for staff to bring their pets before officers from the NSW Mounted Police Unit offered to bring two horses to fulfil the man’s final wish.
“The man was bedridden, but we had the opportunity to take him downstairs. The mounted police brought two horses and he was able to have that experience,” Mr Turk said.
“The man was bedridden and dying at the time, but he was aware of the horses and was able to pet them, and that was his goal.
“Even though it didn’t look as originally planned, we managed to create space for life and that can be maintained until the end.”
To reassure people and answer one of the questions she is asked most often, Ms Grundy said it was important for people to know that dying does not hurt.
“People often ask about pain. They want to know how they are going to die, and although people are extraordinary, death can often be quite ordinary,” she said.
“Patients often simply don’t know what to expect, and my job involves a lot of talking and encouraging other people.”
Neither Ms. Grundy nor Mr. Turk would answer the question of whether the nurses were privy to the patients’ general feelings of remorse or to last-minute revelations on the deathbed.
Mr Turk said each patient is unique.
“Some people completely accept the idea of death and think that it is actually a moment of release and something they want to achieve. For others, that is not so much the case,” he said.
“Whoever you are in life is who you are when you die. You don’t change your personality.”
Ms Grundy added: “It’s not like a movie.”
“People are desperate to tell their families how much they mean to them, and if there is anything positive you can take from a life-threatening illness, it is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to say what you think,” she said.
“That’s probably the greatest gift you get with a diagnosis like that. It’s not like a sudden death where you don’t have time.”